Patience In Our Journey


No. 4 – February 12, 2018

My name is Chad Mast. Welcome to The Masculine Fire.

Disclaimer: Adult language. Once again, if you are offended by the use of adult language, please stop reading. 

If you read my last blog post, you heard me ranting about how I was sick of myself and my lack of discipline around my managing my finances.

Since my last post, I am still without a vehicle but there has been forward progress. I took the car to a mechanic and he confirmed what I thought was wrong with my car. I need a new power steering pump and wheel bearing hub assembly. The good news is that I ordered the wheel bearing hub assembly on Friday. I should receive it Wednesday and the overall cost of these repairs isn’t nearly as much as I anticipated. Still working on the rest of the financial part but yay!

The day after my last entry posted, I received an email from my cousin Laura ‘lovingly’ chewing my butt. Laura and I are very close and she is one of my trusted Tribe members. Our growth journeys have been eerily parallel and she will often bounce ideas off of me looking for feedback and advice. I love her and trust her. (Side note: Laura runs her own blog where she talks openly about her struggles with food and acceptance of her body image. Check it out here.)

Back to Laura’s butt-chewing. In this email she says, “I read your blog post like 2 times and it stuck with me all night.  The pain you are feeling, the frustration etc., it all resonates with me and I can totally relate.  But the same question sticks in my mind, cousin.  Why do you have to forgive yourself for anything?  I mean yeah you got off track financially like millions and millions of people. You used buying shit as a coping mechanism, like millions and millions of people.  But OK.  It sucks but you have the power to fix it.  Money is very emotional, especially for those of us who grew up with none but it’s a normal coping mechanism of humans.  Nothing to forgive yourself for.  Why be so hard on yourself?  Okay, so your finances could be better.  You recognize that and you figure out what is the best way for you to handle your money.   Stop being so hard on yourself.  You and I are so good at beating ourselves up in the absence of a parent doing it for us.

Think about it, you have a client coming in to your life coaching biz, Chadwick, and Chadwick fell off the financial responsibility band wagon a bit. He bought shit he didn’t need to cope with whatever was going on at the moment, holidays, etc.  He’s done this before. He’s middle-aged, he says he should know better, he knows how to budget, etc. He’s self-flagellating. Would you jump on his band wagon and beat him up more or would you stop him and say, “Hey, Chadwick, stop this.  You need to show yourself kindness and love.”  You wouldn’t be railing at him that he’s a dipshit, he should know better and didn’t he learn the last time. Well I’m guessing here, so if I’m wrong so be it but I don’t see you that way.” (She’s right. I wouldn’t do that.)

“If you are at work, you’re surrounded by people who use money and buying things to make themselves feel better sometimes.  It’s a completely normal thing to do.  Sometimes it gets out of hand.  We’re human, shit happens.  You didn’t run over someone’s kid with your car. Your finances could use some work, end of story.  Instead of maybe forgiving yourself for doing the best you can sometimes, maybe you should give yourself a hug and show kindness to yourself.  Stop and say, well fuck, I did it again.  No judgment and only kindness.  We will show the world, even people who don’t even deserve our kindness, love, but we are the last people sometimes we give our love to.  I know it’s frustrating. “

Thank you, Laura. Thank you for loving me enough to hold me accountable to my own bullshit.

This was a beautiful reminder for me though. How is it that I’m so good at reminding other people that they need to be gentle with themselves in their own journey but fall short for myself? Why can’t I extend the same grace to myself that I can to them? My former counselor and good friend Toni Rahman has often told me, “Be gentle with yourself, Chad. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

I have a plan now instead of sitting back, feeling sorry for myself and railing on myself for making poor choices. If the plan doesn’t pan out then I’ll try something different, but I’m not going to sit back and beat myself up.

I challenge you to issue yourself the same grace and I also challenge you to surround yourself with people who will meet you at a place of truth and authenticity and hold you accountable with love and grace.

Thank you, Laura, for loving me and being a necessary mirror when I can’t reflect what I need back at myself. Thank you, Toni, for being the catalyst on this journey and for reminding myself so many times to love myself exactly where I am.

To you, stop beating the shit out of yourself. Yeah, okay, so maybe you fucked up and made some (or a lot of) bad choices. Maybe you’ve hurt yourself and other people with those choices. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It doesn’t mean you’re beyond help. It simply means that you just need someone to help guide you from a place of hurting to the light. Let’s talk if that’s where you’re at. Drop me an email on my contact page.

As always, thank you so much for reading. Until next time, remember, be gentle with yourself and be patient with your journey. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.


Forgiving Yourself

No. 3 – February 1, 2018

My name is Chad Mast. Welcome to The Masculine Fire.

Disclaimer: This post will contain adult language. If you’re offended by the use of curse words, then please opt out of reading this.

I’m fucking sick of myself. So much so that it’s hard to look at myself in the mirror in the morning and love the person looking back at me. Ever been there? Are you sick of yourself right now? Is your mind dominated by thoughts like mine is such as, “Why the hell have I allowed myself to get here?” and “How have I turned into this person? I know better.” 

So far 2018 has not proven to be the year of Chad recapturing his heart. My finances are in shambles, propagated by a series of poor decisions last year. Now my car has broken down and I’m forced to borrow money to try to dig myself out of the hole. I think I’ve got things worked out but only time will tell.

One area of my life that I really struggle in is financially. One of my coping mechanisms is to buy shit I don’t need (or really even want) when I feel depressed, stressed or bored. I have also diagnosed myself with financial phobia (it’s real, look it up or click the blue link) and there’s a lot of shame tied to my lack of discipline with my money and keeping track of it. What really pisses me off is that I make a decent wage. I should be putting money away in savings and investing more in my 401k than I do but my financial irresponsibility is preventing me from doing that. What pisses me off even more is that I know better. I know how to keep track of my expenses. I know how to budget and I’ve done it successfully many times. My life is exponentially more balanced when I’m keeping track of my finances and not constantly spinning. So why do I fall so often?

I’m also sick of living my life in fear of so many things. It makes me feel weak and pathetic.

And, while I’m ranting, why can’t the beautiful words of affirmation that I receive from so many people that I’m close to stick? Why do I constantly feel so worthless and like such a terrible person? My life is full of people who see so many ‘amazing’ things in me that I struggle to see in myself.

My stomach hurts in this moment. This post is proving to be really painful to write. I want to scream. This may seem to be dramatic to you but it’s the truth. I don’t like myself very much right now.

So if this post is about forgiving yourself, then I suppose I should probably shift focus here. I’m going to pull from words of affirmation that Dan gave me the other day to help me out. (For those of you who don’t know already, Dan is my mentor, an older brother figure, one of my closest friends and will probably be mentioned in several blog posts.) He told me that this is just a small bump, that I will get over it and even though it seems really loud right now, that it will pass soon enough. He told me that he loves me and is incredibly proud of me. Another friend constantly tells me that I’m ‘amazing’. Yet another told me three times rather drunkenly that he fucking loves me after giving him some necessary advice after a team happy hour.

I have a lot to be proud of. I’ve made some amazing changes in my life in the last five years. I’ve achieved levels of comfort with emotional processing and vulnerability I NEVER thought I would be capable of achieving in my lifetime. I have a rare ability to find beauty in things and places and people that others aren’t capable of seeing. I think that sometimes I probably expect too much from myself instead of just accepting myself for where I am in my journey. I need to extend the same grace to myself that I extend to other people I counsel.

Sometimes it’s really hard to silence the voices of the demons that scream at me, voices that tell me that I will always be a fuck-up, that I will always be a pussy and won’t amount to anything (things that were actually said to me as a child). At those times when I see the world through the eyes of that wounded child, I need to step outside of myself and bring my Father Self to the forefront to comfort that wounded child and remind him that he’s acceptable just as he is and that he’s worthy and lovable. My Father Self doesn’t see that wounded child as a fuck-up or a pussy. Instead he sees the unlimited potential inside of that child’s heart. My Father Self sees the love and empathy that child brings to the world and he cries with the child whose tears fall from a lack of acceptance and love and nurturing from his caretakers.

Starting now, I’m going to work to bring the same love and grace to myself that my Father Self would give to that child. Life’s too short not to love myself and it’s too short for you to not love yourself either. Let’s bring forgiveness and grace to ourselves and work towards becoming better versions of who we already are.

Thanks for taking the time to read. Until next time.






What is the Masculine Fire?

No. 2 – January 11, 2018

My name is Chad Mast. Welcome to The Masculine Fire.

After telling a good friend of mine about starting this blog she said, “Okay, well, I don’t think I can relate much to that, but I like that you’re working on it.”

What I want my readers to understand is that this blog isn’t dedicated solely to men. Yes, the things I’m writing about are going to be written from a male perspective but that doesn’t mean that The Masculine Fire applies solely to males. We all operate from a mix of masculine and feminine energies; even you cutthroat, hardcore, ego-driven, ‘manliest’ of men have feminine energy inside of you. 

What character traits are commonly associated with masculine energy?


  • Assertiveness
  • Aggressiveness
  • Analytical
  • Logical
  • Controlling
  • Impatience
  • Focus
  • Stability
  • Passion
  • Discipline
  • Confidence

This list is not all-inclusive. These are just a few examples. 

So, what is my interpretation of the masculine fire? It’s the energy, the force that comes from deep within you and pushes you to be the best version of yourself that you can be. It’s what encourages you to seek knowledge and pass your wisdom on to those around you. It’s what drives you to face your fears head-on and look them in the eye and say, ‘You will not own me anymore.’ It’s what forces you to your feet when you feel like you’ve fallen for the last time and growls in your ear, ‘Get up! Today is not the day you give up!’ You feel it in the core of your being where your heart and your soul intersect. 

Regardless of gender, the masculine fire can be lit inside of you. It encompasses the greatest and strongest characteristics we have, masculine and feminine. 

I’m going to discuss many things centered around emotion in this blog because I know handling and processing emotion is not something the masculine energy does well. As always, if there’s a topic you’d like to see discussed send me an email or leave a comment. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Until next time!

January 1, 2018 – New Year, New Me

My name is Chad Mast. Welcome to The Masculine Fire.

I was challenged by my good friend and mentor Dan Borland to create a blog page with the intention of channeling the necessary energy towards starting my motivational coaching business. This blog will be simple. There won’t be lots of bells and whistles. I intend to keep it simple so I don’t become swallowed up in overthinking the details of what I think it should be. See, I’ve been focused too much on the details of too many unnecessary things for too long. I think it’s easy for us to place too much attention on what we perceive the big picture should be and to project our insecurities and fears onto that picture.

For myself, that fear has been around starting a motivational and life coaching business. I came up with the idea in 2015 after having taken the Gallup Strengthsfinder test. My test results indicated that life coaching may be a profession my Strengths would serve well in. Intrigued, I did some research and immediately fell in love with the idea of being a coach and helping people find their purpose in a wayward life. I came up with the name of my business and quickly purchased rights to the domain name. I’ve rented that domain name for over two and a half years now and I have never done anything to start building the website for my business. Why? Fear. I’m scared of stepping away from the security and comfort of IT which is what I’ve been doing for the last ten years.

Have you ever complained about something so long that you get sick of hearing yourself talk about it? That’s where I’m at with my coaching business and feeling ‘stuck’. Am I capable of building a website? Hell yeah I am. Will I be a good motivational coach? You’re damn right I will. I have had multiple people tell me that I’m going to be an excellent coach, that the advice and support I gave them was vital to helping them shift their perspective on their life. I have the intelligence, the drive and the affirmation to do this, so why do I feel stuck? Because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of stepping outside of my comfort zone. I’m afraid that I overestimate my ability to help people despite the words of praise I’ve received.

I’ve labeled 2018 as ‘The Year I Recapture My Heart’. That’s where the inspiration for The Masculine Fire was born. At the end of 2018, I want to look back at this year and say, “Yeah, I definitely recaptured my heart and reignited the masculine fire within it.” I hope you will walk with me on my journey. It’ll be nice to have company.

Thanks for taking the time to read this post.